dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
