I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i drank out of a bidet.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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