would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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