Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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