We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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