you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
