I think i sorta joined a cult last night
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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