My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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