I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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