Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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