how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
