I accidentally had phone sex last night
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
