the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
