There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize