We won't sleep together?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
