This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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