talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
