dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I skipped work to stalk him.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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