we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
