yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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