i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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