I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
