its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
