Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize