Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
