I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
