This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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