I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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