Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
