dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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