idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize