she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
