Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
