Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
