I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
