I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Who died my cat blue again?
how drunk are you?
Several
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
