Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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