Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
