i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize