i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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