What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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