MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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