he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
