I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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