Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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