My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
