I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
A+ Viking dick
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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