And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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