he shaved USA in his pubs
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
