East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
