everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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