i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
