i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
