and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
