You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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